Dusk
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: There's a storm cloud stirring, and it terrifies Merrill.


_Update: So apparently I posted the wrong story when I posted this the first time. Damnit Fanfiction!_

 _Author's Note: Sorry if this seems a little rushed, still trying to do a fic a day, though that might not last too much longer. I'm also trying to get updates out for Mad Maxwell and Become the Beast, so any fans of those series should just hold on a little longer. Mad Maxwell will hopefully update tomorrow or so, and Become the Beast shouldn't be much longer. Sorry for an inconvinence._

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"Ma Vhenan?" Merrill whispered into the darkness of the Kirkwall night, unable to see much beyond her nose, but still able to feel her wife's warmth just underneath where she lay, half-on and half-off of her chest. "Are you still awake?"

Hawke tightened her arm around Merrill's waist in response, leaning up and giving her a kiss on the depth of her shoulder. "I'm here, love." She had been trying to sleep for hours, they both had, but something was keeping them from sleep.

Trouble was on the horizon in Kirkwall, and everyone knew it. A stormcloud bigger than the Qunari invasion was stirring, and the storm was a'coming now.

And now everyone was just holding their breath, waiting for the first lightning strike.

"I'm scared." Merrill admitted to her wife, holding her tightly. She had just given up her Mirror and, for the first time in a very long time, life was laid out before the two wives. They could go anywhere in the world they wanted, they could do anything. And yet the city may kill them before they got the chance. "Do you think there's going to be a war?"

Hawke nodded grimly. "Yes." She tried to keep her voice strong to reassure her Merrill, but it trembled, just a little. Anyone else would have missed it, but Merrill could read Hawke like a book, and she heard it like it was the sun baring down suddenly onto the night. "I think there will. One way or another, I don't think I can stop it."

"I'm scared." She repeated. She couldn't help but remember the horrific memories of when the Qunari had invaded. She had just been sitting at home in the library when the bone-chilling sound of steel crashing against steel could be heard, screams coming from Lowtown, and her whole body shook with fear of Hawke's safety. She had resorted to using Blood Magic to find her lover, to help her Hawke stem the tide. "I don't want to die." There was a tremor to her voice, a small sob, and Hawke held her close.

"I won't let that happen." Hawke's voice was forceful, authoritative, and Merrill had no choice but to believe it when she heard the adamance her voice was coated in. "I don't care what comes: If I have to cut my way through every last Mage and Templar in Kirkwall to protect you, I will." She wouldn't allow anything to hurt Merrill. She had very nearly been forced to kill Merrill's clan to protect her, and she would have. Merrill was the only thing left in her life, and she would hold onto the elf, whatever to cost. Even if it meant standing atop a mountain of corpses.

Merrill shook her head. "I don't want you to die, either." That would be so, so much worse. Without Hawke, she'd be nothing. No, less than nothing. She would have no Clan, no Mirror, no wife...

Death would be preferable.

"And I won't allow that either." Hawke leaned in and kissed Merrill as gently as she knew how, knowing what Merrill was thinking, and she knew how much that would hurt. She would be nothing without Merrill, just as much as Merrill would be nothing without her. "Merrill, listen to me." She turned her wife over a little, and their eyes locked onto one another. "I think that there's a war coming, but I swear to you: We will weather this storm, just as we have every other calamity we've survived."

"I'm not so sure." Merrill whispered, clinging desperately to her one and only. "This isn't just some battle, my heart. These are the Mages and Templars, not just the criminals you and I are used to." Not to mention the Templars could dispel their magic, and leave them vulnerable. Granted, they couldn't stop Merrill's Blood Magic, and Hawke was trained in the use of her sword as well as her mana, but it was still terrifying to think about. If Hawke hadn't had magic, the Qunari, the Deep Roads, that Corypheus... she wouldn't have survived any of them, and Merrill shivered at the thought of her love unable to use magic in one of the biggest battles of her life.

"Merrill," Hawke held her closer. "Please, listen: I can't live without you, and you can't live without me. I don't _want_ to live without you. So I'll stop them. I'll kill them all if I have to. I have to." She kissed Merrill on the nose. "No mage fire or Templar Lyrium can stop my love for you, any more than the Arishok's blades could."

The little elf held close, a thought blurring through her head, and she traced her Hawke's leg with her toes, nervous of the idea. "What would you sat if I asked if we could..." She swallowed hard, knowing Hawke's eyes were on her. "Just leave?"

"Left?" Hawke asked, raising an eyebrow as Merrill looked back up at her. "You mean... just ran away? Up and left town?" Merrill nodded. "Merrill, I know you're scared. But... this is my responsibility. If the city goes to war, it will be because I failed it, and I will stay and save it."

"You can't honestly believe that!" Merrill cried out in disbelief. "My heart, this is _not_ your fault! You've fought and bled to protect Kirkwall, you've spent the last ten years of your life saving it from itself. You can't owe these people anything!" Surely Hawke couldn't believe this mess. She had hardly seen her wife at all the last year, she had been toiling so hard to prevent the oncoming battle. If it happened, it was _not_ for her lack of trying. It couldn't be. There was no way in the world that this was Hawke's fault.

"Maybe not," Hawke told Merrill to appease the Dalish girl, even though she still felt guilty. There must have been something, somewhere, that she could have done, surely. But she also knew that such thoughts were useless. "But I'm still Kirkwall's Champion and, if there _is_ a war, then the people will look to me for guidance and protection. They need me, Merrill. Almost as much as you need me."

"Oh." Merrill was disappointed, but not surprised.

Hawke sighed, and tightened her grip on Merrill's waist. "Okay." She murmured after a moment, and met her wife's confused look. "Look: Merrill, you mean more to me than everyone and everything in this city a thousand times over. If you want to leave, then... let's go."

"Just... go?" Merrill asked, now confused. She had known Hawke would stay, but she also had tried simply because it was worth the attempt. "I thought you were staying."

"I was going to." Hawke said. "But I love you, and I can tell that this is important to you. So, tomorrow morning, we'll pack our stuff and leave. Where do you want to go?"

"You mean it?" Merrill asked in disbelief. "You would leave just for me?"

Hawke rolled her eyes. "Merrill, I would burn down the entire world just for an extra moment with you." She lifted her wife's chin, and kissed her. "Now, let's settle this: Do you want to leave Kirkwall?"

Merrill thought for a long time, but eventually shook her head. "No." She sighed heavily. Even if Hawke was willing to, she knew that running away would hurt her lover deeply, and she also knew that she couldn't just abandon innocent people to be caught in the way of the Mages and Templars, even if it was the price of ensuring their safety.

"I love you." Hawke promised. "I always have, and I always will." She leaned in and kissed Merrill once more. "And I swear to you: Neither of us are going to die."

And Merrill believed her wife.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked after a long time, laying in silence, with Hawke's hands running through her hair. Hawke nodded. "I know that this isn't easy. Kirkwall's taken everything from you, and yet, you continue fighting to protect it." She met Hawke's eyes and tilted her head a little. "You try so hard... but it always seems to end up the same, doesn't it? Every plan to destroy the city we foil, they make another. Every criminal we stop, two more take their place. And yet you've never stopped doing it, never stopped protecting. Why?"

"Because no one else will."


End file.
